Why am I such a hipster jerk.
I embarrass myself which is why I tell myself *you're* the as5hole.
It kills me that I am such a hipster jerk. Iβve written an entire novel about insufferable hipsters but I am suffocatingly good at being one. Itβs so embarrassing.
![Twitter avatar for @ill_iterate](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/ill_iterate.jpg)
I have a horrible confession that is also sadly a humble brag:
I played Baby Shark on a ukulele and my son finally likes me.
![Twitter avatar for @ill_iterate](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/ill_iterate.jpg)
I added micro herbs from my potted garden to the macaroni salad my neighbor just gave me from their memorial day bbq. Someone please lock me up.
![Twitter avatar for @ill_iterate](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/ill_iterate.jpg)
Iβm going to macerate some umeboshi with cane sugar, then add Roku gin and topo chico to it and call it the Japanese Settler. Someone please lock me up.
![Twitter avatar for @ill_iterate](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/ill_iterate.jpg)
I literally played a tambourine with Indian temple brushes and wasnβt embarrassed about it for a whole hour. I have written an entire novel about insufferable hipsters and yet I am so enragingly good at being one.
![Twitter avatar for @ill_iterate](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/ill_iterate.jpg)
What is the most hipster bs you have done that you are completely ambivalent about? Like, exactly equally excited and embarrassed about?
![Twitter avatar for @ill_iterate](https://substackcdn.com/image/twitter_name/w_96/ill_iterate.jpg)
If none of you relate to this question I will literally fill my macrame air plant holders with painted stones and wear it like a shawl and jump off the Williamsburg bridge