Tears
You gotta love jargon. It’s best when you can poke a little fun at it. I used to be merciless with marketing jargon, but it was always an inside joke. You’re a loser if you didn’t get that I was making fun of myself. We’re both losers in that sense.
Lately I find the most fun in playing with activism jargon. I ask bandmates to interrogate (their) bias against Extreme’s “More Than Words.” I find myself making space for old underwear that refuse to be de-centered. Who advocates for pizza tonight? Might we reach consensus through participatory naps?
The funniest thing I have to say, though, is that my toddler son is constantly overstating harm. Whenever he breaks out in sobs, I’m like, really? I motion at the Conflict is Not Abuse poster in our living room, extend my telescopic pointer, and tap at it. Now what did we say about articulating conflict, Dario?
Dario cries a lot. And it is so expressive. It’s impressive how much; and how he conjures this cry. I say to him:
Are those actual tears? Those aren’t real actual tears, are they? They are! My god you are crying real tears. Real tears!
I am not gaslighting my son, mind you. That’s Sesame Street’s job. I am in genuine shock when he cries real tears over microscopic confusion/hurt/boredom, and the music he creates when he lets it rip over the wrong lego, cookie crumbs on his face, my not letting him press send on emails to board members that read “DPcockring09U234092394!!!”because he slaps at my computer with impossibly dexterous fingers. It is amazing how frequently, how sonorously, how authentically and effectively he communicates meaningless need.
As we get older, we cry sparingly. Don’t cry wolf, we’re taught. Make it meaningful. Crying is always a profound shock to witness. It’s strange sometimes when I wonder what crying is like for others. What a macabre proposition.
How else do I get to know your salt? Laughter, of course. I don’t mind getting to your guts via parody. You make me laugh to the point of real tears. That’s the ultimate caliber of laughter. Are these real tears? My god I am crying real tears! I love the sound of your laughter and I want to make you laugh so hard you leak forever. As long as we share the salt, I think I can deal with the means of arriving here. Let me hear you laugh.
Thank you for sharing.
