Illegible Discounts
The phrase "all other races" in the exit polls had me LOLing until I was not LOLing.
On those occasions I take umbrage I think of the phrase All Other Races and…
My son definitely notices that I wonder how to disappear at the age of sixty when he will no longer be in my charge or at least the authorities will have no reason to withdraw him from my care. Those kinds of fantasies are hard to avoid in these hard times, but also: isn’t this such an Asian immigrant way to think about life/death?
I am thinking about every time there is a suicide in a TV show featuring Japanese people. I can’t believe how much I liked Shōgun, but my god—so much ritual suicide—and unlike every TV show about white people, there isn’t a single content warning. That’s ok I tell myself, because the warnings are so white: passive, meaningless, virtuous to the point of being subliminal.
Still.
Why is everybody on instagram losing weight so quickly? I thought that was bad. I thought diuretics and laxative abuse was a form of bulemia. I thought diet enhancing drugs were part of disordered eating. I thought Asian Americans agreed Ballerina tea should be a thing in the past.
Don’t worry I understand the truth. I simply. Take. Umbrage.
Today I am going to eat a juicy cheeseburger, eat the fries that come with it, drink a martini, chew on some candy. I’m going to lie on my bed and watch a procedural, watch my husband do the chores. I’m going to tell you what you want to hear because you deserve the best. I am not going to plan for my sixtieth. I am going to plan for my son’s favorite kind of pasta tomorrow; our trip to visit family in other parts of the region-country-continent-world and for the moment, remember how exciting it is to fly on a plane, forgetting that airlines hate us too.
