Distracting myself with some dumb ideas I've had over the past few years.
I’m in a terribly anxious mood (more on that later when I decide to write regularly here again), so I’m distracting myself with some dumb ideas.
My four year old, thirty pound child with a 12 inch waistline, has Elie Tahari fashion brand undies. I laugh every time they come up the wash cycle next to his Paw Patrol and Spider-Man undies. They all get the same little poo stains and he’s obviously not thinking at all about what brand he’s wearing, but the fact that they’re designed just so is too funny to me. Then I picture the people in that merchandising meeting at Tahari HQ when they decide what to private label. If Elie himself has any say, I picture him waxing artistic and sounding pretentiously inspired: We must do boy’s underwear. That is the future. Imagine him drawing patterns for boy’s undies lol.
I went to a book talk the other day at BlackStar Projects, and the video presentation was stalling on an Apple TV monitor so we were subjected to a placeholder image of The Mandalorian tv show. People started joking “this is the way!” and I pictured a version of “Around the Way Girl” by LL Cool J but with Mandalorians. “Around the Way Mandalorian” lol
Speaking of BlackStar, when I was writing on their show BlackStar Live, I had this idea of a skit of a gospel choir doing calls to prayer, with like, a pentecostal style imam. I believe people thought it was a good skit we but also did not want to offend God.
A reality competition show of oldest Asian sons. Like Big Brother (omg the name alone), but assembled of the most stereotypical oldest sons from Asian families. They get no help in household duties, have no contact with parents, no opportunity to win over any people. It’s just guaranteed misery for all with some pathetic hijinks in the mix.
“Physical 100” type gladiator competition but for experimental musicians. Contests include shit like, making noise musicians do laps around a dark venue, holding their entire rig on a flimsy table; a wind instrument competition where players have to hold a note as long as possible; smallest acoustic sound possible competition, judged by a computer… Winner gets a free portfolio update with a designer, so their information is actually legible to the rest of the world.