Expiation
Expiation.
I desire expiation. Yours and mine. Would that we should all atone and be forgiven for every one of our actions. But never feelings.
A peace offering can look like a dove, a branch, a daisy in a gun barrel. The visual metaphors are silly aren’t they. We are, too. Expiation is a big word for forgiveness, but I hide in the dictionary when you play dumb and what I think of as play may be construed as mischief, so again: forgiveness. I desire expiation.
The great words all come from religion. Is that acceptable to you? God is in the grace we afford ourselves. Peace is religion. My problem with religion as a kid was that it made feelings the sin. Peace is not a feeling anyway. Peace is awesome. You think I’m talking about one God but I’m talking about all religion. Even in the stoner que sera sera version of Buddhism we fetishize in this country, where we think desire is ok, desire is a primo no no. No no sera sera.
Penance is what actually happens in an atonement but exchanging tender is a sin, too.
Tender exchanging volumes of capital because it is soft. Soft volume of tenderness. I will perform penance by extinguishing big words, and if this is unconditional love you can continue playing stupid. Wanting is the heart collapsing from feeling. I want to be pure.