Discover more from Love Letter Day X
Is it the moon or your absence I keep staring at.
Resham just wrote a nice essay on rage and this line struck me — How our rage can perhaps direct us towards our future transitions. I am struck by the notion of transition because I am currently experiencing something of a profound transition myself, and am discovering that transition is a modality clearly in the purview of women.
For example. I have said before that there is a profundity to the energy of women getting divorced (though I say this referring to a very specific kind of divorcee—one who has been in a longterm relationship, usually with a man). I have witnessed this energy completely transform the universe. This is no doubt an example of how rage can direct us toward future transition, but also it is in the ritual of legal emancipation that women find themselves. It’s like splitting an atom.
Have you all seen that parlor trick with toothpicks? Place two toothpicks together and squeeze them together as hard as you can. Place a third toothpick on top, and then turn one of the bottom toothpicks over, ever so slightly. The inertia of absorbed energy from your fingers will cause the third toothpick to explode from its platform.
Also, I’m sorry if this divorce talk is confusing—I’m not alluding to a separation in my own life. Not marital, at least. I just admire divorced women.
So back to transformation mode.
I have asked the universe for new information to help me negotiate what medical professionals euphemistically call “adjustment disorder,” and I think it is telling me to accept transformation—the centripetal force of change as a state, as a modality, as a hold. Behold my transformations. If you cannot witness it, at least hold it.