December. When you floor the gas and brake pedal with equal force, depressing both feet till curiosity approaches malice. What would happen if I let go of the brake?

My husband asks me, why do all toddlers pretend bananas are phones? I don’t believe people who say their children don’t understand bygone technology. My son checks the ticket dispenser on the parking kiosks for change, like it’s a pay phone uvula preventing coins from flying out of old public phones. Public phones, whose dimensional ratio is identical to smart phone.

Dismember. I went to the drum studio a couple days ago and hated everything I played. The best part of the night was when I gave up and screamed. I tried fixing the sound by tuning the various drums in my set, and then I tried using different sticks, brushes, rutes, mallets, hands, nails. I decided to get a complicated manicure on the day after Christmas. I have spent an inordinate amount of money on gifts and meals and it’s all worth it if we feel the spirit. Do you feel my eyes constantly on you?

I better get something good.

I sang at the top of my lungs at karaoke a few days before the drum studio, and gotta admit I accidentally expelled too much of my life force and that might be why I can’t drum anymore. At least this month. It’s out of my lungs and out of my hands. Is it that the energy has left, or that I’m still holding down the brake pedal?

I know it’s possible to recreate the spirit of acceleration, because it was created at all. This time, we’ll be lying down on the floor, falling and levitating in equal force at the same time.