Chaotic Date Ideas
A romantic night of netflix and chill: you and a date perform a scene-by-scene, line-by-line act along to the original Lord of the Rings trilogy, complete with fight scene simulations and accents. No pausing to make out.
Cultural vacuum: Do karaoke in a sound proof room with no teleprompter, speakers or microphones or dancing. Just each of you taking turns singing songs from memory standing totally still.
For the would be polycule (cuz this requires at least three people): Play freeze tag, but like you fucking mean it.
Compatibility test: Apply for a job together using a mashup of your skills and personalities and an AI rendering of your hybrid faces. If you get to interview, make sure it’s virtual so one of you can appear on screen while the other speaks, and if you get the job you will take turns going into the office but have to convince everybody you are the same person. If this goes on long enough you’ll be invited to a company outing and bring your partner and you both still have to convince everyone you’re the same person and the others’ partner simultaneously. If the application goes nowhere you keep applying till you succeed. Advantage: you will learn all you need to know about them as professionals and eventually be able to halve the burden of compensated labor. Hashtag seize the means…
The Thelma and Louise: One of you drives both of you off a cliff way before you need to. Like, at the very first sign of a red flag. She likes Ayn Rand? Vrooooom! They think all their exes are psycho? Swoosh! He can’t handle spicy food? STEP ON IT, HO!
Filial challenge: Date only people who closely resemble your parents—extra points if they have the same name—and you introduce them to your parents real early. Try dating many people that fit this description at the same time, and keep introducing them to your parents. The goal of this chaos is to freak out your parents. If they confront you about it and ask you to stop, move on to people who resemble your grandparents. This can be a transferrable challenge—siblings, cousins, caretakers, if parents aren’t an option.
The Lord of the Rings challenge but butt naked.
came here to affirm this chaos